


We're Spending What We Haven't Made

by easternepiphany



Category: Parks and Recreation
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-17
Updated: 2012-11-17
Packaged: 2017-11-18 20:25:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/564934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/easternepiphany/pseuds/easternepiphany
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Tom Haverford, my needless shopping phase."</p>
            </blockquote>





	We're Spending What We Haven't Made

**Author's Note:**

> These two dorks _demand_ fluff.

“Rise and shine, cupcake!”  
  
Ann is vaguely aware of being shaken but groans and burrows further into her pillow.  
  
“Come on, sweetheart, we have a full day ahead of us!”  
  
Fingers brush her hair away from her face, hair that had been blocking her eyes from early morning sun. She gropes around, finds the annoying hand, and grabs and squeezes as hard as she can.  
  
Tom yelps and pulls his hand back. “Jeez, you didn’t have to do that!”  
  
Ann rolls onto her back and sighs. “It’s Saturday. Why are we up so early?”  
  
“Because we’re going to the Eagleton Mall, remember? We’re gonna get our shopping on, girl!”  
  
She remembers agreeing to something of that effect, but when Tom said he liked to wake up early to go shopping, she thought that meant like nine, not six-thirty. “The mall doesn’t even open until ten.”  
  
He’s not dressed yet, which she finds a little bit surprising; Tom’s the kind of guy who goes all-in, all or nothing. If he’s going to wake up early on a Saturday, he’s going to wake up _early on a Saturday_. But he’s still wearing the boxers and t-shirt he went to sleep in, so maybe he’s not that crazy. “This is your first Tom Haverford Saturday Shopping experience. There’s a routine. A lot of things happen before we actually get to the mall. Ann Perkins, are you sure you can handle it?”  
  
Ann shrugs. “I need new sneakers.”  
  
“One time I took Ben shopping and he was not prepared. You have to promise that you’re going to buy something more interesting than _socks_.” He holds out his pinky.  
  
A smirk spreads over Ann’s face and she squares her shoulders in acceptance of the challenge. “Okay,” Ann says, wrapping her own pinky around his. “You don’t scare me, you know.”  
  
Tom constantly seems to have a hard time keeping a straight face around her, and it makes Ann feel good sometimes, because she doesn’t always feel funny or worth of smiling over. She wonders if his cheeks hurt all the time. “You scare me a little, you know.”  
  
“Oh, I know,” she replies.  
  
There’s a pause where Tom just sort of stares at her for a minute and before it can get too uncomfortable she says, “So, what happens first?”  
  
“First, we shower and get dressed. Now, usually I wake up at six, so we’re already running late. I think that might mean you and I have to shower together to save time.”  
  
Ann wrinkles her nose. “Absolutely not. I think showering together is weird.”  
  
He shakes his head. “You’re lucky you’re so beautiful. Okay, fine, I’ll shower first.” He throws the blankets back and Ann gladly grabs his share.  
  
“Yes, I’m going back to sleep. You take forever to get ready.” She pulls the blankets up over her head to block out the sound of Tom berating her toiletries.  
  
\---  
  
After they’re dressed, Tom takes Ann to JJ’s for breakfast. “You should have eggs,” he says as they slide into a booth and open their menus. “You’re gonna need your protein, girl.”  
  
Ann rolls her eyes and orders pancakes anyway, but she does drink a second mug of coffee just in case. As she’s finishing the last dregs, Tom pulls a small notebook from his coat pocket.   
  
“Okay, phase one and two completed. Now, phase three: make a list of places we want to hit up.” He taps a pen to paper and looks expectantly at Ann.   
  
“Um, well, I need new sneakers so... Lady Foot Locker, I guess.”  
  
“Nope,” he says immediately. “Can’t go there. I got banned after I quit. Gave too many free sports bras to the girls who worked at the food court.”  
  
“Ew,” Ann says, making a face. “Did that work?”  
  
Tom raises one eyebrow. “ _Of course_ it...” He takes one look at Ann’s own raised eyebrow and his face falls. “...didn’t work at all. But it doesn’t matter because I can’t go in there, anyway. Pick another place.”  
  
“What’s even in the Eagleton Mall? I’ve only been there like, once or twice.”  
  
“Ann. It’s the best place in the entire world! Well, as good as you’re gonna get in southern Indiana. But still!” He pulls out his phone and hits some buttons. “Here,” he says, thrusting the phone in her face. “Look at the store directory, stat. It’s amazing!”  
  
Ann takes the phone from him and scrolls through the directory of stores while he starts on his list. He’s filled about two mini-notebook pages by the time she’s finished.  
  
“Uh, I guess this Shoe Depot store will probably have what I’m looking for.”  
  
Tom scoffs. “That place is garbage. Literally the worst store in the entire mall. No way. We can look at Nordstrom. It’s already on my list and you can get those dope little Coach sneakers.”  
  
“But I need sneakers for work. Those aren’t going to be good for twelve-hour shifts.”  
  
“Okay, fine, whatever. But we’ll have to talk about it later because it’s time for phase four.” He shrugs off Ann’s offer to pay for breakfast. “This is the biggest and most important phase. You ready, girl?”  
  
Ann’s starting to get a little worried she’s going to end up with those stupid $200 Coach sneakers but she doesn’t let it show. “Bring it.”  
  
\---  
  
Okay, so Ann does end up with those stupid $200 Coach sneakers. But in her defense, they’re really cute and look good with her jeans. Tom makes her try them on and when she balks at the price he goes on and on for a while about something called “Treat Yo’ Self Day” and Donna and a pair of velvet slippers. (Ann’s pretty sure she’s seen those velvet slippers, too. They look outrageously expensive, in the these-are-so-ugly-they-must-have-cost-more-than-my-car kind of way.)  
  
So she pulls out her credit card and Tom does a little victory dance at the register. She makes good money, right? She has two jobs; she can pay this off. It’s fine.  
  
But then Tom decides he needs a new monogrammed robe (“A _new_ monogrammed robe? So you already own one and it’s worn out in such a way that warrants a new one?” “Yes! Hugh Hefner wears one, Ann. _Hugh Hefner_.”) and Ann runs her hand over the one he chooses and it’s so soft and she can’t stop thinking about how warm and cozy it would be to wear on cold mornings.   
  
“Think of how incredibly sexy you and I would look in matching robes. Matching robes with our _initials_ embroidered on them.”  
  
And really, it’s a good investment, Ann tells herself as they walk out of the store clutching their bags. She’ll wear it every day and the quality seems good so it’ll last a while. No big deal.  
  
By the time they take the necessary 3PM late lunch break, Ann’s bought the following things, in addition to sneakers and a robe: two scarves, a watch, perfume, three skirts, a pair of boots, five tops, and one ridiculously overpriced dress. She wasn’t going to get the dress but then she walked out of the fitting room and, well, to be honest, the look on Tom’s face was pretty priceless. And it’s a beautiful dress, truly: red and more low-cut than she’s used to and it clings in all the right places. Besides, Tom promises that he’ll find a place to take her that’s worthy of it, and it’s been so long since Ann’s been anywhere even slightly fancy so it’s not like it will sit in her closet forever.  
  
She’s kind of surprised her credit card hasn’t started smoking yet, though.  
  
After lunch, Tom announces they’ve reached phase five: going home and trying on all the stuff they’ve bought. It’s not until they’re shoving their bags into the trunk of Tom’s car and finding that they still have to use the backseat does Ann start to panic a little bit.  
  
“I should probably return some of this stuff,” she says once everything’s in the car.  
  
“Noooo! C’mon, cupcake, seriously. That’s not how this works! You’re going to wear everything you bought, right?”  
  
“But I didn’t even get any sneakers for work! That’s why I wanted to come shopping in the first place!”  
  
Tom opens the door for her. “I’ll tell you what. Let’s go back to your place, and you try everything on again, look in your own mirror and all that. Then, if you still want to return it, I’ll drive you right back here and you can break my heart. Sound good?”  
  
“Okay,” she relents, sliding into the passenger seat. “But I’m going to Lady Foot Locker either way! You can wait outside!”  
  
\---  
  
“You. Look. Amazing,” Tom says every single damn time Ann steps out of her bedroom in a new outfit. He’s sprawled out on her couch, his phone in one hand. Occasionally, he snaps pictures of her, claiming he’s sending them to Donna for backup. She has the sneaking suspicion he’s tweeting them, though.  
  
“You’re not helping me weed out what’s going back, you know.” She pulls off her new boots and flops onto the couch next to him.   
  
“Because nothing should go back, duh! Look, when was the last time you bought yourself something nice?”  
  
Ann thinks about it. “I bought that lamp over there,” she says, pointing across the room.  
  
Tom groans. “A _lamp_? Really? You know that doesn’t count at all. Just keep it. Trust me. It all looks dope.”  
  
She starts to do the math in her head but stops halfway through. “Fine, fine.” She yawns. “Please tell me phase six involves falling asleep on the couch because I’m so sleepy. We were at the mall for like eight hours.”  
  
“If by “falling asleep” you mean “doing it,” then yes, that is exactly what phase six is.”  
  
She hits him with a pillow and pulls the afghan draped over the couch down toward her. She’s pretty sure Tom tweets another picture of her falling asleep, but she can’t really bring herself to care.  
  
She’ll make him drive her to Lady Foot Locker tomorrow.  
  
  



End file.
